Fantasy World
If I was a celeb, I would go so hard, hakuna maneno ya kukeep it casual. Walking along the Nairobi streets like a kawa citizen with these mean Kenyans ignoring my fly self, how now? First of all, I would be so damn fly, complementing myself every moment I look in the mirror; which will be often by the way (Ego 612). You would spot me or smell me from a mile away and you would duly stare at me, in my fly ride.
Of course I would be damn good at what I do, venturing into the film industry, singing and rapping and obviously a trend setter. I would double, or is it quadruple –whatever- as a producer and deejay #BigDreams.
Now being a celeb would not be a challenge to me as I would command full support within social media; the only Kenyan shmeleb with more than a million followers. I would dress so fashionably, Rihanna would be reading about me and mimicking by fashion sense #weiwe. Na kudance nayo? Beyonce would have nothing on this girl, she would request for me to go to the US and school her on some moves but of course I would be too busy for that as I would have a movie career to focus on as well #GetWithItB.
Eminem and Kanye would be my homies and THEY would have ME on speed dial, kunisumbua sumbua all the damn time yet I have a deejaying career to focus on #Geez. But kina J Cole and Lupe Fiasco would be my true friends and I would hang out with them as often as I could, but they would have to come over to one of my huge houses (will get to thatJ).
Endorsement after endorsement, oh the pressure…Nokia, Safaricom, Samsung, Google..every corporate after my neck to be the face of their brand, I wonder how many times I would have to divide myself bana, dude I do not need the extra cash, I have enough #Loaded. I would request to be given enough time to decide which brand I am feeling at the time and I would be so freaking awesome, that I would be able to endorse more than one brand at a given time #BelieveThat.
*sigh* Ryan Gosling would keep texting my fly self and sending me sexy pics while Trey Songs would call me every single day #AkiWanaume. Flattering as it would be, I would have a producer career to focus on, no time for guys ‘stalking’ me. Even Lady Gaga would try to throw vibe every once in a while but heh; #singemake. Speaking of producers, DJ Khaled just called, *excuse me while I pick this up*…okay, where was I? Oh yes my awesome shmeleb life.
I would have this seriously smoking Rolls Royce, among other classic rides, that Jay Z be trying to get a ride in; surely, maisha gani hii? Can’t a shmeleb get some time to her fine self?
I would be driving, or be driven, to my beautiful homes everyday: always creating time for a swim as this hot body of mine -that would give the likes of Halle Berry and Heidi Klum a run for their money would need maintenance #insured.
I would have the whole celeb house, the whole movie room nininini (my pals can crash) and of course a game room where I would definitely host the latest technology and yes, Teken games would feature. I would have a massage room where this smoking dude…..oh crap, I’ll continue later have to go do a collabo and see my publisher; oh yeah, my book is almost out #Talent.
