Daughtry - September

Usingis’ vs. Super Usingizi

Teaminsomnia, this may not be the post for you, pwahahahaha but kuna loveJ

Did you know that there are two types of usingizi:  usingis’; usingizi ya kawaida and Super usingizi; which is, well, the special kind.

Usingis’ is just the kind of sleep that one experiences most of the time, as in,  iko hapo tu with nothing much to write home about. The kind that may involve mosquito sounds throughout the night because for some reason there is no mosquito net. The kind that you may experience if you are alone in the bed and it is really cold, or its reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hot for some reason and you are all sweaty, eish.

This usingis’ allows for bad dreams; the kind that you do not like to talk about or the ones that wake you’re sweaty self up. Like the dream I had jana as I was trying to enjoy my usingis’. Some bad guys were trying to kill my ass. Why? I have no clue lakini I employed some serious ninja tactics wewe; ma Angelina Jolie..up in this coz I know ukikufa kwa ndoto, that is  IT!!!!!! and although I cannot really remember what cut throughout that disorganized dream, I do recall that I went (or had to go) home, then I got a text from my mum asking me,” Eh, has you’re dad’s wife come home??”haiya!!!!!! hizo ni gani tena???!!These meaningless dreams that have no flow!!(R.I.P Dad)

And then kuna SUPER USINGIZI!!!The kind that you experience when you go to be bed a happy person, the kind that you dream about when you’re deep in usingis’ lolJ This super usingizi is truly one of a kind and it deserves some award….* and the award for the best sleep goes tooooooooooooooooooooo…..”J  Super usingizi is the sleep that you have prepared for; the night you decided to take a nice hot bath using shower gels..lit perfumed candles nini nini just before you go to bed; yaani form the bathroom into the bed, you may choose to put something on in between but that’s up to you :-0  You even remake the bed: just! Thereafter, you pour sufficient baby powder all over your sheets and yourself as well: #freshness. You go ahead and add two duvets for extra warmth (kama uko nazo) if you sleep alone like I always doJ . Yaani, this super usingizi is planned for…you even set the mosquito net vizuri in place,with all holes sealed using those kienyeji methods (unajijua;) mpaka even the mosquitoes get the memo and respect you enough to instead come and try sample your blood the following morning,  to make up for lost time, heh heh.

It is during such nights, you have the radio playing some smooth tunes you rarely listen to as you tuck yourself in and venture into the habitual pre-sleep tweeting; otherwise known as duvet-tweeting and the retweets are coming in maaaaaaaaaaaaaad; yaani umechekesha watu kwel kwel and thus you remain in your happy placeJ. Then finally, you set your alarm and delve into a slumber like no other to experience super usingizi at its best; where sweet dreams love to exist (motto) and the occasional “a leg takes wing out of my warm comfy sheets and a bite by the cold dark monster sends that dream back to the depths of deep fantasies only …. [Mazoeano}” does not happen. Those are @m_dblogger’s words by the wayJ (http://joejoachim.wordpress.com/)

Like jana, I experienced some serious super usingizi….the kind that cause you not to want to wake up really early like we always have toL Ata niliota na @ianmugoya this time, heh, dude was all up in my biz: dreams are made os these!!! heh heh, *takes a minute*. Unfortunately, the dream had to come to an abrupt end *bahati yake* lol. My alarm went off…yaani my mum started over flashing me until I woke up; you see for me not only do I have to snooze my actual alarm, I have to silence my phone coz of these calls I get every morning at kedo 5:00 am; what I cannot snooze is my mum coming to physically wake me up juu ma calls haziendi through:)

This piece was inspired my first tweet today, “enyewe, kuna usungizi zingine ni tamu!!”J And if you have never experienced super usingizi, *in Jay Z’s voice* ‘I feel bad for you son!!!’

BUSTED....gettin some!!!

*I wrote this a while back*

I saw you the other night with that chic,
i slowly passed as I observed,
but you dint even notice it was me in disbelief,
and you continued...to get some!

I tried to leave;to stop from staring,
but I just couldn't get myself to exit,
it was the way you were kissing,
...as you were gettin' some!

She cried out your name:givin you motivation,
and you increased pace in response to the inspiration,
for me it was just a painful confirmation,
that it was you...gettin' some!

My mind ceased function:my heart froze,
as I came to terms with what I saw, just yesterday;it was my hair that you stroked,
shame on you...just loosely gettin' some!

When i finally got to leave,i wasnt thinkin 'that chic!'
it was now...'that bitch!'
you were so not worth 4 it;playin wit my feelings,
i left broken hearted,but more so realizing,
you were probably not that good...at gettin' some!

What women DON’T want!

Many a blog have been written to about women on how they cannot make up their minds on what they want from men. Well that aside, below is a short summary of what we DON’T WANT. This post is not one borne of bitterness…there just was a need!!!!

·We do not want you lying to us that we are number one when we are not. Yes, we can be nagging and persistent but you are a man and therefore you can handle the pressure of letting us know how it is. That saves everyone time and a lot of energy.

·We do not want you to leave us guessing. It is true that men are not mind readers BUT neither are we. Perhaps more perceptive to some extent but if you like a girl go ahead and let her know lest she just goes on with the flow and when you find out she does not like you as muvh, she is becomes a b****.

·We do not want to be strung along only for us to get our hearts brokendown the line having wasted time on you. Let her know whether she is the real deal or you are just looking for a casual relationship; we are, after all mature adults here. Stop lying to her about how special she is blah blah fish cake yet there are scores of other girls filling your inbox wanting to know where the next rendezvous is. This way she can make a choice whether she is willing to settle for such or she wants something more and she is free to leave your a**.

·   We do not want you asking and probing us about our ‘time of the month when we can be nasty and cannot give you what you want intimately’ in that moody tone you assume, like it is our fault. Just let her go through the motions at her own pace, trust me it is stressful enough without someone breathing down our necks.

· Women do not like guys who are not gentlemen; if you go around demanding that you want a lady make sure you can be the man she requires you to be; check yourself before you wreck your self.

·The women I spoke to emphasized that they do not like men who do things for them and expect "payment". It is becoming very rare to find a legit dude who cares for more than just what is between a woman’s legs. Surprise these women so they can stop lia’in, “aki Kenyan dudes!!!nkttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

·We do not want guys who are full of themselves and think they are God’s gift to women. A man who is proud of who he has become, we have no problem with, but it really is a thin line between this and arrogance. Furthermore, do not go over board with the talking about you the entire time thing; it can get so annoying!

*Excerpt from what one chic said, I did not want to paraphrase at all*

“Mentally, I don’t like that men think they are superior to women ama they are always right no matter how much noise a chick makes. Emotionally, I don’t like how they assume that every chick is the same, textbook...that just coz one chick behaves in a certain way means that it is their inborn nature to behave the same...assumptions is the mummy of all fuckups!!! Na huwa hawaget that simple statement!!!”

·Lastly, for now, women do not want you assuming that because you have achieved your ultimate pleasure point sexually, so has she. I do not have to delve into this; just do what you need to do to please your women.

So dudes, these women love you; all they ask is that you style up and love them the hell back.

 playlist: What a girl wants - Christina Aguilera

The Day I will NEVER forget

Did you see what I did there?  That is such a composition title…….oh the good old days!!! The only reason I miss high school is because it was co-ed. Not that I’m into boys thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat much but because it made it all the more interesting. Story za wasichana kila mahali, singemake; TOO MUCH DRAMA! Oh during preps we would chapa stories with them boys while some people threw vibe on the mamas they fancied, while others wrote notes to their dudes from other classes and had them delivered WHILE others (read me) just sat there ‘day’ dreaming about our crashes and how cool it would be if they sent us aka love note.; such that every time someone form their class entered your class and started delivering notes you looked at them longingly in the hopes of getting ‘something sweet enclosed’ in a note lakini wapi!!!! Some serious stalker tendencies, I shamelessly remember.

Anyhoo, so whenever lights went out during night preps, the drill was that all girls head to their dorms guided by a watchie who had a flash light, while the dudes were to follow after. Now, the dudes dorms were right next to the class block whilst the girls had to walk further to the dorms which were situated conveniently next to the dining hall, that means during supper time wasichana wangetoboa kupata ‘Top Layer’ lol J Also, there was this old-ish woman named Monica, who lived between the girls dorms and the D.H and occasionally walked in and out of the girls dorms compound taking care of business. She was really dark and had shortish spike-ish hair. (Keep that in mindJ

So on this particular day that will never forgotten, we were in class during night preps; some studying and writing notes while others making noise and giving the prefects a hell of a time; you know, the Ush! Kidogo tu  ‘balck outttttttttttt’ stima zimekatwa maji imekatwa hakuna difference na kuishi kwa kichaka’ *insert Mejja’s voice*J so there was the usual shrills and screams of some annoying girls amidst groans from the dudes telling these chicks to shut the hell up and relax and of course the occasional “we Paul………..wachaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *giggles* from some a chic here and there J  So we dutifully gathered our books and stuff and began the journey to our dorms in groups (eh..I’m a girl, just making sure ;) Now, you know there are always those chics who are super focused and always in a hurryto get things done, from all classes, and they were hukoooooooo mbele while the rest of us dragged our feet staring at some couples making out and stuff. Now once you turn a certain corner, you begin walking on a smallish hill as u panda to the girls dorms.  So guys are moving as usual then kidogo tu, Galfa Bin Vu, *screeeeeeeeeeeeeammmmmmmmmmmms* right after that, chics turn and begin running back towards the class block like there is no tomorrow.WAH!!!!The rest of us saw this and we obviously turned and ran like the wind..nakwambia sijawai kimbia hivo, woi!!!! Yes, we don’t know what is up but we just run..others fell wanakanyangwakanyangwa, oh you should have been. *takes a minute to laugh uncontrollably at the memory*

So since we were behind, we get the boys and the deputy first, waiting on us asking what’s up. Hatujui, we just saw people running like mad and so we followed suit. Duh! So When the chics who began finally made it to ‘safety’ and the mayhem had somewhat calmed down, they said ati they saw a ghost. Yes, A GHOST….imagine, eish chics are dramatic!!! :-) 

 It was finally investigated and discovered that kumbe it was just Monica they had seen doing her raos during the night that she had particularly decided to put on the whitest of her night dresses. Ha, the embarrassment. And Monica was not thrilled with such news, I tell you. That surely is the day I will never forget. J

Live in the Moment;the alphabet according to ME :)

 

Appreciate all u have
Be yourself
Cultivate a positive att
Dare yourself to be the best
Explore life to its fullest
Flirt;-)
Grieve when u need to
Have fun!fun!fun!
Ivy;know her,she's awesom:)
Jog;a little exercise wont kill
Kill joy; dont be one!
Laugh and love wit all ur heart
Make others happy,n u will be
No;it can be a complete sentence
Open your mind to a diverse world
Patience! Peace! Pleasure!
Quiet time; just for u
Run to the arms of those who love u
SAVE
Tire not of doing good

Understanding before judgement
Verily verily I say unto thee; value what u got
Worry;the less u do it,the better
Xperience,Xplore,Xpress
YOU are worthy
Zealously LIVE in the moment:)