I’m back!

Man, it has been a while,

Since I penned these thoughts inside,

It’s been a minute, since

I sat down and recorded the thoughts deep inside,

A while since my reflections were spread on paper,

And shared with those brave enough to perceive,

Or I dare say, bored enough to read.

I always thought it was too simple, this,

These crafted poems captured by a young girl’s heart,

Making sure this rhymed with that,

And married words in a strong bond of sorts, to awaken love,

To inspire hope and generate peace,

So I am declaring myself back,

For many things must I paint on this paper so blank,

And seek to also cause goose bumps to stimulate the coldest of hearts,

So here I am, back,

May God inspire these hands, ‘coz I know, He’s definitely got my back.

A not-so-typical Tuesday

It’s a Tuesday evening and I have finally settled at home, in a warm house in the outskirts of Kibera, as in Langata. It has been a trying day this one, with some uncertainty at work, some low self esteem thrown around and the occasional, why do I feel so fat feelings; a typical Tuesday, for now. 

I navigate through the duties of the day and make progress in certain areas of my work load while failing in one important part, but choose to focus on improving and exerting better output. I learn a lot too because someone reminded me that the mind is a muscle; a geek who I put up with once a week who actually has a sense of humor (ahem.). I’m surrounded by geeks by the way and sometimes I struggle, coz my memory is for shit, forgive my French. It is the way I’m designed; that I only retain what is relevant to me, what affects me. But it makes me look bad, especially in conversations with said geeks. Therefore, I am exercising my mind; learning more, doing one or two IQ tests here and there; trying to fit in. Sigh. 

So when I’m done at the office, I remember my kid sis lost some books during her time as a very playful primary school student and now she has to clear and return the books she ‘lost.’ And she has no remorse this one, with expectations that can drive you crazy; ‘I can’t find them, si we just buy others!’ Zero remorse. This one thinks money grows on trees and that we have many trees so we have lots of random cash to spend in January . Smh. So I hustle against impolite and hasty Kenyans who are struggling to get to their respective bus stations before their  super long queues start to form. I finally make it to river road, because I know people in those bookshops huko chini, and then I only get one book out of the four I need to purchase. Such luck!

So I take my sorry ass to my respective stage and grab a Rasasi before the line of eager Kenyans form those tiring queues. And it was really cold. So I settle in, and my routine kicks off. I listen to music up until the mat gets to Uhuru Highway and then I progress through my schedule. Check whether super writer Biko Zulu has penned down another awesome piece; oh, that writing does things to me. The descriptive words, how he presents a scene and you feel like you were right there with him. And it inspires you, to live a life of purpose and pen it down in vocabulary that you rarely use. Anywho, once that’s done, I go to my e books and decide what to read for the next 20 or so minutes during the slow but moving traffic. Today, I was reading Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Adichie, imagine, 15000 years later, occasionally looking out of the window to ponder on the ups and downs of my so called life. That’s another descriptive one, Chimamanda , and I enjoyed the read.

As we passed the House of Grace Church next to T Mall, I looked on it with guilt, it was 7:18 pm. Normally on Tuesdays we have a prayer service that I always promise myself I will attend, because I desperately need the prayer s and because I love God. But I didn’t alight at the Madaraka stage and I whispered another apology to God, if He recorded those, they would be a dime a dozen. Did I use that right? Do people still say that? 

So finally I get home and I’m happy. I thank God for another safe trip home, never take that for granted. The noise from the little sister who believes she should go to a private, IG, mixed day school and the side way glance from my loving mother once again welcomes me home. Aaaah, yes, a cup of tea to welcome the part bread-winner, hehehe. I settle in and try to finish the Purple Hibiscus chapter I was reading.

Shortly, the exercise gods remind me that I made a commitment to look hot (ahem) this year and I decide to finally take that step. If I can do Jane Mukami’s 10 day detox, I can certainly and painfully make it through Focus T25. Heh. 25 minutes of intense cardio for day 1, to prepare the body I guess for a month of Oh-My-God-when-can-I-get-over-with-this-and-get-a-sexy-body. For this, I will need prayers as well.

Boy did I sweat. Obviously, I tried to look sexy like the ladies in the video as the hot instructor barked orders to raise those knees, above the waist and suck in that tummy, while clinching your butt. Sema sweat! But I pulled through and managed a cold shower right after, feeling like I had conquered the world. It even inspired me to write about my day even as I work towards improving myself.

So there you have it, a not so typical Tuesday. The occasional hilarious whatsapp conversation with the sister and the friend that had me in tears, also made for a fantastic evening; that convo will make for a very good blog post, just you wait. *rubs hands together*

So how was your day?

Le Crush

“I have a crush on this guy, OMG! He is so cool and mysterious. He isn’t your typical hot guy with a fine body and a cheeky smile but he is definitely something.”

How many times have you had these words? It starts way back in primary school when you start noticing him or her, how they write their notes, cover their books and entertain other pupils with the compelling tales that the only the average young primary school boy can spin.

Sigh.

Having a crush is fun and daunting at the same type, especially for the shy kind like me (ahem). It is so silly that you want to see this person as much as possible as you watch him/her go about their day to day tasks in that ‘special’ way, as you secretly smile at how awesome you think they are. At the same time, you itch for that unplanned eye-to-eye contact and you’re not sure what to do next so you end up doing or saying something silly that you regret all week. Smh 

Imaginary conversations? C’mon, if you have or have had a crush then you have had some of those fantasy conversations where he/she says the right thing and you respond in a clever but captivating way that you believe will capture their interest, and heart. You imagine you will make them laugh; that they will discover that you are oh so cool, and that they will realize- insert lightbulbs- that they have liked you for the longest time. GFF. Is this sad? That in this fantasy world that causes you to smile sheepishly as you make your way through crowded streets, supermarkets, at home and in the bus as you make your way home, especially when it rains. Smh 

Especially when it rains. Do you look out of the window pretending you live in those ‘movie’ and ‘music video’ houses, play the right music and think about your crush and think about a stimulating conversation (among other things) with him/her as he/she realizes what a beautiful mind you have and how good looking you really are? No? c’mon!

The beauty about the crush is that they sort of know but are not sure and they better not find out, because if and when they do, it evaporates, disappears, poof it’s gone….and it is disappointing. It kills the mystery, makes things awkward and you’re left searching for the next best crush.

Smh.  

Y U NO LOVE ME

It’s a crazy happening,
It’s a mixed up kind of free,
the confusion and joy that battles within,
Figuring out if love loves me!
I want to look love straight in the eye
Give him or her a piece of my damn mind,
Find out what I ever did,
For love not to love me!
So who is the master of we,
This thing called love must be,
                                                           Lodging itself in all who get lost in it,
                                                           Damn love, why you no love me!
                                                          I think, I feel, I wish,
                                                         For this love, the romance, the thrill,
                                                         I hope, I pray, I dream,
                                                         That love, for Pete’s sake, would just love me!

Three is indeed a crowd!

(Wrote this a while back.)

A smoky room filled with a breed of Kenyans eager to enjoy a late night out. A Heineken banner appropriately placed to set the ambience. This is a large club with a pool table strategically placed to entertain the modern man as the ladies sip their chilled wine and subtly enjoy the music. Once the alcohol finally works its way into their systems, the subtlety vanishes and the disco ball works its magic, the dance floor is filled with young ladies bending over and men encouraging them as they order more drinks. The place gets noisier and the choice of music now inclines to upbeat sounds of raga amid chants and shouting from the rowdy revelers. Tables show off brown and green beer bottles if it is a good day, most times a clear representation that Kenyans just got paid. They sure know how to enjoy themselves.

I sit back watching these young people, with my occasional keen eye, enjoy themselves like there is no tomorrow. Sometimes I just take a step back and look around, okay it is more times than I would like to admit but it works for me. I prefer to do more listening and less talking because I find that they are many people who are way more interesting than I am. Note to self, I am not boring but because I am inexplicably prone to embarrassing moments so I limit how much I expose myself. 

Anyway, observation is a great tool for gaining knowledge and alcohol, a great tool for honesty. When drunk, people tend to express their pent up feelings, and whether they insist they do not remember, there is always some truth in it. Like this guy I know...no, that is a story for another cold day. Now, where was I? Yes, the honesty in drunkenness, a little ironic I think. 

I instinctively decide to follow a moaning sound I heard in the alley that joins the club to a congested little bar harboring demons of its own. I seem to be on a mission but I am not very sure what I aim to discover while on it. I deliberate on whether to tag someone along then decide against it; I want to be the one to tell what might be a very compelling story. I walk into the alley to the sounds of a cheeky laugh, definitely a female. I continue on, following the girl’s laughter. Finally, I can make out two bodies, I perch myself on a neglected stool and try to figure out what is happening.

Thankful for a little light from the club, I make out a voluptuous behind, supported by a slim waist of a girl clad in a red fitting but very short dress. Her hair long, indicating that she must have some Asian blood because it looked real. Before I’m done admiring it, her companion pulls back and what do you know? It is a young lady as well; she looks fetching from what I can make out and I can foresee that this will indeed be something out of the ordinary. She appears to whisper sweet nothings to her red-dressed babe and gets the response she wanted. She strokes her lower back and slowly slides her hands down commanding a shriek from her mate; once she grabs her butt. She then quickly turns her and pins her on to a dusty wall and they intensely lock lips.  I stand aghast rechecking if any one else is present at the scene. 

Then I hear a man’s voice. I turn back only to discover that there is a third party; it was getting really crazy and I was unsettled. The girls asked him if he enjoyed ‘the show’ and he confirmed that he did by spanking them both. I silently let out a breathe half believing what I was witnessing. Zips are unzipped and it looked like a three-some was about to go down right here in the shabby alley. Was I going to stay and watch it all unfold? Well, what would you have done?

Things were getting heated up and I found I could not move. For me, it was quite surprising that these things actually do happen in our society and now then, who is to blame? Whether one would wish to accept it or not, it really was the harsh reality. I watched agape as the man stole deep kisses from the two girls and they found ways to touch him and themselves at the same time.

“Rebecca, REBECCA, What the …?” came a sudden voice from a perturbed but good looking man. I chose to stay put and watched in amusement as Rebecca, the girl in the red dress, recoiled from the heated intimacy she was previously enjoying. The visitor was breathing fire, kicking everything in his way while the other two parties of the three-some that was to be, burst into laughter urging Rebecca to remain and finish what they had started and let the man be or even better, invite him to join in. The visitor unleashed unprintable words as he pondered on whether to leave or drag Rebecca, who was thoroughly embarrassed, and deal with her accordingly; away from the eager crowd that had now formed. He chose the latter and left with her declaring what he would do to her for such indecent behavior. I never figured if he was family, her husband or boyfriend but what I did know is that it was one unbelievable night. \0/

Celeb…Shmeleb!!!

Fantasy World

If I was a celeb, I would go so hard, hakuna maneno ya kukeep it casual. Walking along the Nairobi streets like a kawa citizen with these mean Kenyans ignoring my fly self, how now? First of all, I would be so damn fly, complementing myself every moment I look in the mirror; which will be often by the way (Ego 612). You would spot me or smell me from a mile away and you would duly stare at me, in my fly ride.

Of course I would be damn good at what I do, venturing into the film industry, singing and rapping and obviously a trend setter. I would double, or is it quadruple –whatever- as a producer and deejay #BigDreams.

Now being a celeb would not be a challenge to me as I would command full support within social media; the only Kenyan shmeleb with more than a million followers. I would dress so fashionably, Rihanna would be reading about me and mimicking by fashion sense #weiwe. Na kudance nayo? Beyonce would have nothing on this girl, she would request for me to go to the US and school her on some moves but of course I would be too busy for that as I would have a movie career to focus on as well #GetWithItB.

Eminem and Kanye would be my homies and THEY would have ME on speed dial, kunisumbua sumbua all the damn time yet I have a deejaying career to focus on #Geez. But kina J Cole and Lupe Fiasco would be my true friends and I would hang out with them as often as I could, but they would have to come over to one of my huge houses (will get to thatJ).

Endorsement after endorsement, oh the pressure…Nokia, Safaricom, Samsung, Google..every corporate after my neck to be the face of their brand, I wonder how many times I  would have to divide myself bana, dude I do not need the extra cash, I have enough #Loaded. I would request to be given enough time to decide which brand I am feeling at the time and I would be so freaking awesome, that I would be able to endorse more than one brand at a given time #BelieveThat.

*sigh* Ryan Gosling would keep texting my fly self and sending me sexy pics while Trey Songs would call me every single day #AkiWanaume. Flattering as it would be, I would have a producer career to focus on, no time for guys ‘stalking’ me. Even Lady Gaga would try to throw vibe every once in a while but heh; #singemake. Speaking of producers, DJ Khaled just called, *excuse me while I pick this up*…okay, where was I? Oh yes my awesome shmeleb life.

I would have this seriously smoking Rolls Royce, among other classic rides, that Jay Z be trying to get a ride in; surely, maisha gani hii? Can’t a shmeleb get some time to her fine self?

I would be driving, or be driven, to my beautiful homes everyday: always creating time for a swim as this hot body of mine -that would give the likes of Halle Berry and Heidi Klum a run for their money would need maintenance #insured.

I would have the whole celeb house, the whole movie room nininini (my pals can crash) and of course a game room where I would definitely host the latest technology and yes, Teken games would feature. I would have a massage room where this smoking dude…..oh crap, I’ll continue later have to go do a collabo and see my publisher; oh yeah, my book is almost out #Talent.

A Friendly Letter

Ivy Njeshsta,
Cool Chiks High School,

P.O.Box A.W.E.S.O.ME
Nairobi.

Mad Blogger,

Do it Yourself High School,

P.O.Box L.A.M.E

Nairoberry.

04/10/2011

Dear Madblogger,

Hi. How have you been since the last time I saw you. Do you remember that special day? I could never forget it. It was that funki at the Do What You Want festivals, wasn’t that a whole lot of fun? You and your funny jokes, gosh, my roommate cannot stop yapping about it. She asked me to give her your address, but I don’t think I can, you might continue forgetting to write back to me. Speaking of which, why haven’t you replied my previous six letters? I always know that you will get some time to spread some blue blood on some paper but I think I am beginning to lose hope. I am now the laughing stock of the school dorm coz I say I know you but no letter is forthcoming. Please do something.

So how are those crazy friends of yours? Do you guys still skip class and run away to the nearest disco on Friday nights? I heard rumors you can smoke bhangi, is it true? What about your studies? But sometimes I feel like I am envious of your care free school life? Our school is sooooooooooooooo boring, and my roommate is becoming boring as each day passes by. She keeps speaking to me in kikuyu and I do not like penda that, u know? And the form four gals are mad at me because I am one of the prettiest girls around, gosh now what do they want me to do? Did I ask to be this beautiful?

How are your studies by the way? Maths, as usual, is challenging but I find I am as bright as I am beautiful. I can say I am doing well, you? If you want to go to a nice university, you must work hard.

Oh no, looks like the stupid prefect has come to put off the lights, oh how I hate ‘Lights out’ and she is always screaming at us, you’d think she is the matron. So I have to pen off, get some shut eye. Please say hello to Mike and Chalo, I hope they got the Insyder shout outs we sent to them. I will send you some for the next issue, coz the entertainment prefect and I are desk mates so she can always do me a favor.

Okay, remember to reply at least this once. Work hard, pray and make sure you attend the cool funkies. Bye…

Yours truly,

Ivy

Dedz:

Always be my Baby- Mariah Carey

All my Life- K-Ci and Jojo

Summer time and Boombastic -Shaggy

Spread some of that Love!!

Hello people, bado niko..just a bit busier than usual!!! How are you doing? NIMEKUMISS...YES, WEWE :-)Today I just want invite you all to Spread some love to your community...making a difference by participation, money does not have to be the only contribution you can offer this awesome country of ours.

Last week we were at the Langata Women's Maximum Prison and we had a fantastic time. WE painted, cleaned, dug...............had fun!!!!:-)

The inmates were very welcoming and we gave them a few hugs here and there :-)

If you were there, you remember JD,  a very beautiful and even more hilarious inmate who gave us quite a show: she is so awesome!!! *Insert Jeff Koinange's voice* you just cannot make this stuff up!!!!

Below is a scoop of the Spread the Love initiative....




Now to nominate an extra ordinary person in our community! http://www.spreadthelovefestival.com/nomination.html

May the good Lord bless; Catch y'all later!!!:-)